I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
