Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
