I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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