Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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