I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
