I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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