Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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