Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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