Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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