So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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