You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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