its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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