guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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