Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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