Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I need moral support for this bender
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize