How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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