either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she told me i tasted like america
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
