Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
