I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
