He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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