so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
