Its about making memories worth repressing
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
