I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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