i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize