either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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