I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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