physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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