I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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