ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
