This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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