So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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