You're so nebulous sometimes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
