awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize