i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
