How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize