Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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