THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
