Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
