I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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