He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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