Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
