If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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