can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
