Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
