My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
