Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize