Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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