I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Dick very happy bro
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
