Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Couch. On fire.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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