WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Is it penis luge time yet?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
