the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
