is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
