what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
