She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's official drugs can't kill me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
