I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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