32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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