I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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