So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
