Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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