New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
