I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
