i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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