Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
