No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
