So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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