just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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