Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
