I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
