My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize