Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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