We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
