i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize