I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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