C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
