Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
