i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
