Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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