Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
