Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
