Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
