theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
