You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
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