I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and she was petting her beer can
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
