Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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